BWAH! Or: Twilight is a silly thing.

Thursday, 22nd May, 2008 | 05:12 pm

I've been reading the Twilight series lately. Oh, don't look at me like that. I know it's a pile of steaming shite. Some folk over on Snarkfest were mocking discussing it and it sounded mockable. I wasn't disappointed.

Sparkling. Vampires. Vampires that sparkle. Because that whole burst-into-flames thing is so five minutes ago, naturally. They sparkle, and they play baseball in thunderstorms because the noise is too bad otherwise, and they have feuds with werewolves in a totally-not-ripped-up-Underworld kind of way.

Honestly. I've read some corny, over-indulgent vampire crapfests before, but this stuff takes the cake and the biscuit.

This did make me laugh, though: Vampire Chronicles characters read Twilight.

I'm with Lestat.

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A note to the people making The Tudors...

Saturday, 22nd Mar, 2008 | 03:10 pm

I've been watching Season One. And really, I can see what you're trying to do. Just one thing though.

If you want to convince me that Henry VIII looks like this, it might not be a good idea to cast, in another role, someone who actually looks like Henry. Good god, people. If you'd cast Steven Waddington in the role of the King I'd have praised you to the heavens.

I mean, really. In this picture I keep expecting the real Henry to step forward and kick the skinny kid out of his seat.

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I'm not normally much for boycotts...

Thursday, 20th Mar, 2008 | 02:18 pm

I usually think boycotts solve nothing. Generally results in people realising it happened a week later and saying "Oh, so that's why it was quiet".

I'm a little bit pissed off though, and when I'm pissed off I will do almost anything to make the people who have annoyed me equally pissed off. The cause?

Anton Novik being an arrogant git.

I may have to use the "Rodney McKay Principle of Consumerism" again though. I love McKay.

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INDY!!!

Friday, 15th Feb, 2008 | 09:29 pm

Trailer time! Trailer time!

Woohoo!

I will be humming that theme for a week. Possibly longer. It looks like so much fun! The hat! And the whip! And Indy, my Indy!

*happy dance*

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What the fuck?

Tuesday, 22nd Jan, 2008 | 10:13 pm

Heath Ledger.

Shit. I'm not normally all "think of the children", but god. His poor little girl.

No matter how many times I check the calendar, it's still not April 1st. Damn.

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Life on Mars finale

Tuesday, 10th Apr, 2007 | 10:10 pm

In an attempt to be non-spoilery about the final ever episode of Life on Mars I will only say that I am now doing the Told-You-So dance.

*sniff*

Bye, Gene, you utter bastard. Bye Sam, you unreasonably cute little weasel-man. Bye, excellent soundtrack...oh, wait. Downloaded that. Bye, dodgy brown Ford Cortina.

*sniff*

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What the fuck is going on here?

Tuesday, 3rd Apr, 2007 | 12:32 pm

I was reading The Register today and saw a story about Google Earth getting into trouble for reverting to their pre-Katrina images of New Orleans. 

One of the links in the article was to an updated image showing what the city looks like today, and part of the article shows some detail. One was this. 

Now, I'm not one to get riled about news stories. Haven't for years, ever since I found that getting emotionally invested in them was a good way to be depressed. But this? What the fuck is this? It'll be two years, soon. Things not being reconstructed I could understand, but debris still all over the place? Nothing cleared, nothing moved away - that I don't get. How are the people who lived there ever supposed to come home? And even if they aren't, why isn't someone doing something about that mess? What is going on with this city? What's the plan - tell people they can come back but will have to clear the wreckage of their house themselves? Or aren't they supposed to come back at all - is that the plan? I'm the last one to jump to assume any racial motivation behind someone's actions, but if this has me wondering whether the fact that the 9th Ward was predominantly populated by black people has anything to do with it, then it's worrying. 

I ask again, what the fuck is going on?

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Misc. rambling

Wednesday, 10th Jan, 2007 | 08:50 pm

Using StumbleUpon, I located this:

The George W. Bush Speechwriter

I'm having far too much fun with this.

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Torchwood episode 6

Wednesday, 22nd Nov, 2006 | 10:45 pm

Dammit, Owen. I don't want to like you and your silly downturned mouth. I'm watching this show for Jack. Only...I suspect that Jack's private parts have been surgically removed along with his personality and most of his sense of humour. And you had to do that thing, with the tree, and now I'm getting flashbacks to Spike and Buffy literally bringing the house down, and - guh. Was that really necessary?

I feel like I'm watching fanfic, here. Aren't we supposed to do the show first and the fanfic later? Is there even any Torchwood fanfic yet? Oh, screw it. Carry on, Owen. Though Jack was right about the abs.

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Misc. rambling

Tuesday, 14th Nov, 2006 | 10:41 pm

Finally! An episode that actually delivered something of what we were originally promised. Suitably creepy and unpleasant, and no idiotic Cyberwomen in high heels.

Also, lots of Jack and minimal screentime for Owen and Toshiko = A Good Thing.

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Misc. rambling

Friday, 6th Oct, 2006 | 08:36 pm

Robin Hood is back, albeit in a somewhat different form. I love the Robin Hood stories, have a ridiculous number of books with various versions and retellings, and I can never resist any adaptation.

My childhood obsession was Robin of Sherwood, mainly because Michael Praed was the leading contender for Most Gorgeous Human Alive (also in the race: Adam Ant and Morten Harket).

Having said that, the new series looks well worth watching. As does the new Robin.

And really, when it comes right down to it - film anything related to Robin Hood or King Arthur and I'm there in front of the screen. I even watched First Knight though in my defence I only watched it once. What was the point of that film, anyway?

I don't think they'll ever beat the Sheriff calling off Christmas, though. Or "I'm going to cut your heart out - with a SPOON!"

Excuse me, I now need to watch my Prince of Thieves director's cut. Even if they do seem to think that the Roman Wall lies between Dover and Sherwood. Muppets.

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YES! My week is officially made!

Tuesday, 16th May, 2006 | 08:35 pm

Veronica Mars is renewed for a third season

So more Veronica, and just as importantly (well, to me) more Logan! Now, if only people will watch the damn show, I'd hate to see the order cut to thirteen episodes which would effectively mean this brilliant show going the way of the dodo.

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Call of the day...

Friday, 27th Jan, 2006 | 09:50 pm

The Thicko Award for the day has to go to the person who, in all seriousness, asked if I could please fax her the latest service pack for her software.

Attempts to explain why this isn't possible were met with variations of "I don't understand!" "Wha...?" and the all time classic wail of "I'm not a computer person!"

If I were doing technical support for home users I'd be a bit more understanding, but seriously? If part of your job is using a computer, learn how to use the damn thing. Or if that's too much of a strain on your somewhat limited brain power, just learn enough to be able to follow instructions.

Asking me "How do I right click?" is just a request to be beaten over the head with a spiky stick.

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Life on Mars

Tuesday, 24th Jan, 2006 | 09:39 pm

Not enough people are watching Life On Mars. This is a bad thing. Seriously, it should be watched. The idea of a police officer from 2006 having to do his own job, but in 1973, is hilarious.

BBC Official Website

I've come to the conclusion that I couldn't live in 1973. 1983, possibly. That would have the nostalgia aspect. But 1973? There was a scene in the first episode where you get your first look at the office at the police station. I sat there looking at it in absolute horror. Mum couldn't work out what was wrong.

"But...but..." I found myself saying, "Where are all the computers?"

I didn't expect one on every desk, but I somehow thought that the police, of all people, would have had at least one or two. Apparently I was overestimating the computing power available in 1973.

*shudder*

God, I'd have been so bored.

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But...why is the rum gone?

Friday, 28th Jan, 2005 | 09:19 pm

Honestly. You go for a rum and coke, and the only rum left is bacardi. Seriously - it's nice in its place, but I don't really fancy it tonight. Still, I can't be bothered to go and buy something more civilised, so bacardi it is.

I've just finished The Da Vinci Code. Excellent book, with the slight problem that I wasn't particularly surprised by the plot developments. Elaboration under a cut, in case anyone should happen to wander in here and have the whole plot ruined.

You Have Been Warned. No, really, You Have.Collapse )

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First day back after Christmas...

Tuesday, 4th Jan, 2005 | 08:36 pm

I'm not quite sure any day at work is quite as bad as the first day after a holiday. I think I've finally worked out why. You see, during any holiday longer than a week I managed to convince myself that I never have to go back to work at all. Somehow the all too short holiday period takes on all the magic of the six week summer holiday when I was at school - it's endless. After all, surely nobody could actually make me go back?

Despite this, my alarm clock had the nerve to beep at me at stupid o'clock in the morning, demanding that I get out of bed. I wasn't in the mood to listen to demands, so I turned it off. Unfortunately, the alarm clock might be off, but my brain was turned on - or at least booting up - so half an hour later I persuaded myself that yes, it really was time to go back to work.

My reward for such a willingness to spring back into my wonderful, marvellous job was rewarded by gale force winds that I would really enjoy if I could go out and walk around in them (I'm very strange. People know this.), but which only resulted in hanging onto my car door to prevent its being ripped off its hinges. Then , of course, came the rain. Just in time to soak me in the short distance from my car to the main entrance of our office. Nice. Really, really nice.

On the plus side, my customers were fairly decent today. Nobody was very stupid - almost a miracle in itself. The only reason the day was so horrendous is that I didn't want to be there - which I think its safe to say makes it my fault.

My fault or not, I'm glad I have something different to do for the rest of the week. One of the few benefits of a monotonous job is that when something does interrupt the monotony, it feels like a gift from heaven itself. Just ask anyone who has been in the office when the phones go down. You can hear the cheering a good ten miles away.

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Misc. rambling

Monday, 11th Oct, 2004 | 11:05 am

Well, I finally managed to learn the Hallelujah chorus...the choir I sing with is doing this song as part of our Christmas show, and it's been a bitch to learn. I've done worse (Endgame from Chess springs to mind), but it's one of those songs where everyone 'sort of' knows it already, which means the audience will have expectations of how they think it's going to sound. The other songs we're doing are mostly traditional Christmas songs, but new arrangements which the company have been given permission to perform by the Mouse. Most of them are great, there is one I'm not keen on but there's usually one I don't like in any given program.

Next month the Night of 1000 Voices theme for 2005 is supposedly being announced. This should be interesting, I have several ideas about who it might be, but knowing me they're probably all wrong. I'd pay good money for it to be Cameron Mackintosh - which of course means it won't be, but just the thought of the stuff we might get to sing if it was is enough to have me jumping about like a twelve-year-old on her way to see BoyBand-of-the-minute.

They need to pick someone Philip Quast has worked with. Honestly. I know he might not sing 'Stars' again, but even so...

Excuse me. I need to go and drool now.

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Books, books, books!

Thursday, 7th Oct, 2004 | 08:28 am

I have some time off work at the moment, and as I'm determined not to make a waste of it, I decided to drive to Alnwick today. A while ago I went there with my parents and we passed a bookshop which looked very promising. Of course, my Dad finds nothing interesting whatsoever about a bookshop, and as he was driving and is a complete selfish sod when it suits him, my Mum and I couldn't persuade him to stop.

So, today I decided I would drive back there and go to the bookshop. It's about an hour's ride away from home, not too bad, and the route is about as straightforward as it gets.

Now I'm home, and one look at the very heavy bag of books I've brought back with me tells me that I've made a Big Mistake. Quite simply, this bookshop is fabulous. All secondhand books, on every subject imaginable. The books range from extremely old to very recent. One picture states that a history (or 'historie') of Queen Elizabeth from the 1600's is available to view on request. To take that particular gem home will set you back £1500, but there are books for every price range. A nice collection of first editions, and countless other books. I can't imagine how anyone could go there and not find something they wanted. The atmosphere is completely different to any other bookshop I've visited, too. A sign on the door states 'Dogs Welcome', without the need to ask customers to please watch any dog they bring. In the first room of the shop, tea, coffee, and biscuits are available, and nobody looks at customers as though they're heathen monsters for carrying a small cup of coffee among the stacks. In one room, a model train chugs around the top of the bookshelves, a reference to the building's former incarnation as a railway station. There are seats placed around the shop, and people sit happily at them reading a book if they so please.

I bought my books - several out-of-print children's books I read once and thought I'd never see again, and a biography of King Henry VIII - and settled down in the first room, next to the coal fire, and drank tea from a little plastic cup, nibbled a parkin biscuit and read one of my books. I sat there for almost an hour, because I just didn't want to leave. This is the kind of bookshop I'd like to run - a place where people can come and feel comfortable, to find books which are old friends. The only trouble is that now I know how lovely it is, I'm going to end up going again, and again, and again.

Barter Books, Alnwick.

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Excerpt from a Diablo II conversation...slightly paraphrased

Monday, 16th Aug, 2004 | 08:40 pm
Mood: geekygeeky

Me: So did you give your Paladin a rest and play the Assassin?
Friend: Eventually. When does she get cool?
Me: Yours probably won't, that's reserved for me. So what did you name her?
Friend: Er. It's not very original.
Me: Oh, you didn't.
Friend: Uhh...
Me: You called her Nikita, didn't you?
Friend: ...
Me: *eyeroll*

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Re: Work

Thursday, 8th Jul, 2004 | 05:51 pm

Sod this for a lark. For once it isn't the customers who are pissing me off, it's the management. Or rather, lack thereof. Another fabulous new idea requiring lots of reshuffling, but really this is the last one, honestly, we mean it this time!

It's as though they expect that every time they say 'This is our new Plan. It's a Plan, and we Planned it. Therefore it will work. There has never been another Plan', we're supposed to all nod our heads in perfectly synchronised motions and repeat (though not too loud, we don't raise our voices), 'Yes. This is the Plan. There has never been another Plan'. What's more, we're supposed to actually believe it.

For a company who employs mostly graduates, they're remarkably quick to assume that their employees are stupid. Some are - graduates can be stupid too, you know. Most of us, though, have actually read '1984' and are well aware of the concept of Doublethink. It's almost a cliche to bring up '1984' - everyone constantly bleats about it, though usually by referring to Doublespeak, which (hate to break it to you, politicians and campaigners everywhere) didn't exist in the book. It's Newspeak and Doublethink, you illiterate bastards. I can't think of a less over-used idea to describe it. This is what happens after a day filled with a combination of mind-numbing boredom and barely-repressed fury.

Perhaps I should have attended that brain-washing session on Monday. Maybe I'd be walking around with a blissfully blank mind and one of those annoying grins.

In the meantime, to quote someone I can't even remember: Fuck the fucking fuckers.

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